


Dumb Dumb

by pusheenbawse



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Developing Relationship, F/F, First Dates, Humor, No Angst, No Smut, Short & Sweet, rated t for tad bit of cursing, seulrene shippers rejoyce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pusheenbawse/pseuds/pusheenbawse
Summary: “That’s kinda gay, bro.”“That’s kinda the point, bro.”Seulgi refuses to believe Irene's trying to ask her out. Irene is incredibly annoyed that Seulgi can't seem to tell she's asking her out.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene & Kang Seulgi, Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	Dumb Dumb

**Author's Note:**

> Get ready for a whole lotta plot in not a lotta words. If your typical 1-2k oneshot is Starbucks, this is friggin Cuban espresso.

Irene: “Do you wanna get coffee or something?”

Seulgi: “I mean, considering we don’t have stuff to do at the moment, sure. Where do you wanna go?”

Irene: “I dunno, Starbucks?”

Seulgi: “Dude, we’re totally gonna get spotted there. And knowing the shippers, they’d probably think we’re on a date or something.”

Irene: Ah, crap. How do I convince Seulgi I’m trying to ask her out. “Fine, we could hold off on coffee, and just get dinner or something.”

Seulgi: “Ehhhh I dunno about that; that would _definitely_ seem like a date to shippers.”

Irene: ASFJSKAS BECAUSE IT _WOULD_ BE A DATE. Okay, I just gotta go for it. “Ok fine then, we could just get delivery or takeout and have a movie night. You know, Netflix and chill.”

Seulgi: “Ohhhhhh, okay then. A night in.”

Irene: THANK GOD, THAT DUMBASS FIGURED IT OUT.

Seulgi: “I dunno if the other members would be up for that, though; we’d have to ask.”

Irene: GOD DAMN IT. If this doesn’t get through to her, I’m just gonna go seduce Yeri or something. “I think it should just be the two of us.”

Seulgi: “That’s kinda gay, bro.”

Irene: “That’s kinda the point, bro.” I’m done being subtle.

Seulgi: “What? Have you been trying to ask me out this entire time?” Has she?

Irene: “Yes.”

Seulgi: Huh, whaddya know. “Hey man, I mean, I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t know if I’d be interested in that...”

Irene: ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW— of _ALL_ THE PEOPLE who DON’T want to date me, SHE’S one of them?! How is this the _same_ Seulgi who when I kissed her on the cheek, looked like she was about to disintegrate from how flustered she was?!!! This is absolutely ridiculous; I ref _use_ to believe KANG SEULGI, THE _LIVING EMBODIMENT_ OF GAY PANIC is SERIOUSLY REJECTING ME RIGHT NOW.

Seulgi: “I’m more of a YouTube TV kinda girl.”

Irene: This bitch—“So it’s a date?”

Seulgi: “Don’t tell the fans, but yes.”

Irene: “Please, there’s always gonna be those guys who’ll say we’re straight and just ‘rEaLLy goOD friENds.”

Seulgi: “Fair; it’s still kinda weird though.”

Irene: “What?”

Seulgi: “I imagine a lot of those same guys ship themselves with us. I dunno, it’s just kinda weird to think about how there are probably hundreds, if not thousands of people who are not only in love with us, but legitimately believe they’re gonna marry us at some point.”

Irene: “I mean, I see where they’re coming from, we’re hot as hell, but you’re right; I don’t know how I feel about marrying some dude who knows almost everything about me without even meeting me.”

Seulgi: “What’s worse though, is the thought that some of them might try to speed that process along by stalking or kidnapping us or something. Some already tried with other idols, too.”

Irene: “Yeah, that’s downright terrifying. Then again, we have thousands, if not _millions_ of fans out there willing to kick those creeps’ asses if they try anything funny.”

Seulgi: “I mean, so are our managers and staff?”

Irene: “Why would the fans want to beat the crap out of our staff? I mean, I get they wanna burn down SM—”

Seulgi: "—I meant our managers and staff would _also_ be there to protect us from creepy stalker dudes?"

Irene: "Ohhhhhhhhhh I mean yeah, but you get what I was trying to say."

Seulgi: “Fine. That _is_ true, though, that our fans can be crazy protective sometimes; I’m just glad they’re on our side.”

Irene: “Right? Then again, I wouldn’t have a job without them.”

Seulgi: “Fair; none of us would.”

Irene: “Ah, crap, speaking of jobs, we gotta get back to ours.”

Seulgi: “You’re right, you’re right. I _was_ being serious about the YouTube TV thing, though.”

Irene: “Well, then _you_ should’ve asked _me_ out, but we all know _you’re_ not capable of doing that.”

Seulgi: “Rude. Either way, can it just be like a ‘Netflix and cuddle/make out chill’? Not really feeling up for a full-on ‘chill’ at the moment.”

Irene: “Totally fine; also, chances are we’d both be hella tired anyways, what after eating a crap-ton of takeout.”

Seulgi: What is it with this dude and being goddamn right all the goddamn time?!! This is just annoying at this point!! “Once again, you have a point. We really gotta get to rehearsal though.”

Irene: “True; can’t wait for tonight ;)”

Seulgi: Did she seriously just wink at me.

Irene: Did she seriously just gay panic again— WE’RE LITERALLY GONNA GO ON A DATE STOP IT.

**Author's Note:**

> Clever title, eh?


End file.
